A Brand New Year

Here it is, another new year. I some how have to get used to writing 2012 since it usually takes me until March before I get used to it. Everyone makes goals this time of year which is a great thing to do. I am always making goals and lists of things I want to accomplish so January is just another month in many ways. Chris and I have a feeling that this is going to be a big year for us though.

I am planning on running my first marathon this year which is a big deal for me. Running outside is very hard for me in the winter since my asthma flares in colder weather but I've decided that's just the way it's going to be so I might as well and suck it up and not complain. Something's we can change other things we can't so it will just be the way it is. Besides the weather will be warming up now that it's January and spring is on the way. At least that's what I tell myself over and over right now as I try not to whine about the weather.

I will have a teenager in about 6 weeks and I'm so excited for her. She's a gem of a child and I look forward to her taking this new step in her life. I love teenagers, truly. I enjoy their desire to question and need for independence. They love to go and be active and enjoying having fun. Bethany will turn 12 this year which means bigger adventures too for her. 6th grade and she is already looking forward to her singing birthday telegram at school.

Chris and I have felt very strongly that we will move this year. We are hoping for Singapore and have not been officially shot down and just told to be patient which is naturally very hard for me. I've thought a lot about what moving my sweet 5 children will mean to our lives and no matter what, Chris and I can not shake the feeling that our little family does not belong here. In almost 6 years of living here, it has not felt like home. That is so sad because we are so blessed here compared to so many. Our neighbors and ward are phenomenal people and the schools and community are excellent. We have tried so hard to be satisfied, but it just has not felt like home. It was hard to leave Oregon and that felt like home. Well see what's in store this year.

I am so grateful to teach at the Utah State Prison. It's such a selfish thing for me to be able to do it. The women are genuinely good people who made some poor choices, some a lot worse than the stupid things we've all done in life. They are so eager for the words of Christ and I am humbled by the little things they do for each other. Above all, I enjoy feeling the love that God has for them, every time I am with them. I wish you could hear their prayers, they are so beautiful.

I also hope to take all my kiddos and hubby down to the reservation this summer and do some more service. Everyone wants to help Africa and other 3rd world countries, but I think people forget that the Indians who live here, in the United States of America are living in 3rd world conditions and have very little access to electricity and clean water and indoor plumbing. As Americans we need to do more.

I have so many other things I could write about, but my kiddos are seeking my attention. I hope that 2012, will be a year of gratitude for me and my family to go along with the changes that we feel are coming. May your 2012 be blessed too.

My favorite person in the whole world!

I just wanted to make a quick post about the coolest person I know. Blake Thackeray. No one else can do the things he does. He is the strongest, most handsome, rugged man i know, I am so glad I married into the family that he is part of!

From that first motorcycle ride we took, I knew I needed have the same last name as Blake..... so since he was too young, I married Chris.

The End

Good Reads...

We love books! I read all the time and if I have nothing at all to read because I’m in between books, then I’ll pull out the dictionary or an institute manual and go for it. I’m sure this is why I come across as a know it all, but I promise I don’t know everything and never will; I do however, LOVE to learn and the world is a fascinating place.

My kiddos enjoy reading too. Bethany will stay up waaaaay to late, past her bedtime reading. The rationale of a growing body and well rested mind seem like poor excuses to her. Chelsie reads a lot too and always makes time for her scriptures. Conner...well, he will read. Mostly, it’s because his mom sits down and makes him, or it's bed time and dad will have him read as well. Conner would much rather play outside or on the computer or wii, if he has a choice. Croy and Callie, well, we read together every day and they have developed a few favorite books that they love and I thought I’d share them with you.

Besides the Harry Potter series, my girls love, “Fablehaven” and the “Percy Jackson” series.


Conner likes the “Flat Stanley” books too.


Callie and Croy love the “Llama, llama”


“No, David”,


The Bear feels…” and “Skippy-John-Jones.”


I highly recommend all these books; we know you’ll love them as much as we do; Happy Reading!

"BCA Games"

October of every year has been designated as “breast cancer awareness” month. Way back in 1985, the American Cancer Society and pharmaceutical giant, Imperial Chemical Industries (now part of AstraZeneca, maker of several anti-breast cancer drugs) joined forces to educate women on the importance of getting yearly mammograms; in an effort to detect breast cancer early and thus lead to a higher cure rate. Well, 25 years later, their efforts have paid off. Breast cancer that is detected early enough has a very high (average over 90%) cure rate. That’s great news!!

Recently on Facebook, another “breast cancer awareness” game came to my attention, to which I participated. The “games” of the past have been; bra color, where women like to place their purses when they get home, shoe size, and recently, the “how many weeks you are (assumedly pregnant) and what you’re craving”. The premise of the “BCA games” is that women email each other, forwarding the email they’ve gotten explaining how the “BCA game” is played and the instructions to play along. Women are instructed not to email any of their male Facebook contacts, as this is a women’s only game and the men are to be left clueless until some kind female in their life lets them in on the game.

Recently, a friend shared a link with me about a woman who was aware of the “BCA games” and felt very strongly that she needed to voice her opinion in the matter. You can click or copy and paste the link below to read her blog post about the matter.

http://cgwardphotography.blogspot.com/2011/08/regarding-facebook-breast-cancer.html?spref=fb

I don’t know Christine personally, but I can understand and appreciate her desire to stand up for something that she feels is right. Christine writes that she doesn’t like the “BCA games” because they offend some people; such as those who have personally dealt with breast cancer and have had their breasts removed; as well as those (such as herself) who struggle with infertility issues. Okay Christine, your points are so noted. I think that most women, in general, are sensitive and would never knowingly seek to maliciously hurt another woman; especially with such tender and deep topics. On the other hand, I also think there’s more to this topic than she realizes.

I’ve been thinking about this issue a lot today, after I read Christine’s post and her perception on things. The thought that just won’t leave my mind is this. Is the glass half full or is the glass half empty? In my simple life, I’ve come to realize two very important truths. First, you can’t control people; you really only have the ability to make your own choices no matter how badly you might want to influence others, you ultimately can only control yourself. Family relationships and especially parenting teach this truth time and time again. I think the sooner we accept that fact, some of our choice and interactions with people would be a lot different.

The second truth I’ve learned is that difficult and painful life experiences do NOT have to define your life, or who you chose to be now. Everybody goes through difficulties, heart ache, tragedy and pain. Welcome to “the club” that everyone already belongs too. You can still ultimately choose your response to such difficult things; you don’t have to constantly live in the past expecting people to treat you differently because of “your past”. We should be compassionate to others; but there’s a fine line between compassion and living as a victim. As an adult, you have the ability to control your destiny. You don’t have to share all your pain, heat-ache and drama with the world and then be upset that you don’t like the response you’re getting. If it’s painful and private, then it might not always be a good idea to broadcast it to the world.

So are you a glass half empty or half full kind of person? Do you think people are generally good at heart and suffer from moments of stupidity so you’ll cut them a break? Or are people really selfish insensitive idiots who are always looking out for themselves? I guess my point through all my rambling is that we often see what we want to perceive. Harry Potter could be seen as evil if you have a problem with witch-craft, wizardry and make believe. Barbie dolls can be seen as a sexist, unrealistic demonstration of women. Organized religion is a corrupt institution meant to keep people from thinking for themselves, by placing hope in a non-existent deity. You can’t control people so instead, decide to live your life in a way that inspires instead of condemns; the results will speak for themselves. You are who you chose to be. I think it’s all in how you decide to look at it.

A Horrible Tradition

Last Saturday, Chris and I went to see the movie, “the Help.” It documents a young Mississippi’s woman’s journey to publish a book in the 1960’s during the civil rights movement. The book speaks from the perspective of African-American maids living in Mississippi, working for white families; raising their children, cleaning their homes, cooking and doing errands. I don’t want to reveal too much of the move which is based upon the book of the same title, but the movie had a major impact on both Chris and I.

I’m appalled that people can be treated as a commodity, and seen as having no value at all. The movie got me thinking about how some people were treated as second class citizens. How in even a place where the constitution guarantees everyone “certain unalienable rights and privileges” some people are viewed “beneath” others. I don’t think I could’ve lived in 1960’s when racial inequality in the USA was an epidemic. While I think equality has come a long, long way since then, I still think our country, and the world has a long way to go.

This “horrible tradition” handed down from parent to child, wasn’t a new concept 50 or 60 years ago. Several years ago I remember watching the movie, “Emma” based on Jane Austin’s book. It seemed to me that those of the “upper social class” spent their days fussing over silly things while being consumed with up-coming social events. I remember thinking, man if I paid someone to cook, clean and nanny my children for me; what on earth would I do with all my time?

If an average person lives to be 80 years old, that means odds are, at least 62 years of that person’s life will be spent on their own, as an adult. I only get a few years, (roughly 18) to help my children develop their character, learn, grow and prepare them for the rest of their lives.

Some of the greatest sorrow in my life has come from watching the way others are so poorly treated. I think we need more joy in this life; we need to help others feel that too. It’s so easy to treat people poorly and forget that we “all bleed red.” That we all just want to be healthy, happy and loved. It’s not enough to know something isn’t right; we need to work to change things for the better. We need to educate our children now, so they will teach their children, so our great-grandchildren will know and understand how people should be treated. Go see the movie, “The Help,” I’d love to hear your thoughts and impression.

Dealing With Doctors...

Two weeks ago tomorrow, (August 12th) I had laparoscopic surgery to remove my gall-bladder. I’d had a constant stomach ache for 6 weeks that just kept getting worse and worse. On August 8th, I almost went into the ER the pain was so bad, but I knew if I went into the ER with upper-gastric pain, lower abdominal pain, diarrhea and vomiting, as soon as they found out I had Crohn’s disease they’d admit me to the hospital, give me a nasal gastric tube (this is a tube than they put through your nose, down the back of the throat and into your stomach. If you’ve ever watched Ironman, you saw Robert Downey Jr. pull one out after he came too at the terrorist camp) pump me with pain med’s and corticosteroids and put me on complete bowl rest. This basically triggers a landslide and my whole life temporarily falls apart. (Been there, down that, no-thank you) I knew this was not because of my Crohn’s disease.


I’d already had a sonogram that showed I had many gallstones, sludge and an inflamed gall-bladder and was meeting with a surgeon on Wednesday, so I decided to save everyone the stress and asked my primary doctor for some pain med’s to get me through till my appointment. My meeting with the surgeon was less than ideal. He read the report of my sonogram and at first said, “Yea, I definitely think we should take your gall-bladder out.” I asked about other therapies to remove gall stones and he explained them and we discussed their success rates, and so forth.


He asked me why I was not currently on any medicine to treat my Crohn’s to which I told him I’ve been able to control it though diet and exercise. He was really surprised by my answers, and then asked me if I was sure my current problems were not a Crohn’s disease flare? I told him I was confident that the problems I was having were not from my Crohn’s disease, because of the way I felt. He then told me, “We’ll I’d like to give a GI doctor a call, just to be sure, since you haven’t seen one in a while.” I told him that my disease had never presented its’ self in this way before, and I didn’t think it was “magically” going to start presenting itself this way. I’ve had 4 separate bowl obstructions and this did not feel like a Crohn’s problem to me. He said to me, “Well, let’s see what the GI doctor says.”


I started getting mad. Forget the fact that the testing said I was having gall bladder problems. As soon as he heard that I wasn’t currently being treated for my Crohn’s disease, his whole attitude changed. I looked at him and said, “Look, if I don’t have to have surgery, fine, I’d prefer not to deal with surgery because it’s a huge problem in so many ways. I just want to feel better. I’m having a hard time functioning and taking care of my family. I can’t keep living like this.” He softened a little and said he wanted to go ahead and schedule the surgery and that after he talked to the GI doctor he would call and confirm it with me.


He called me later that night and confirmed Friday’s surgery and also shared some interesting information. The GI doctor told him that because my Crohn’s affect’s my Ileum; gall-stones can be a frequent complication of Crohn’s disease and recommended my gallbladder be removed if I was having problems with it. The GI doctor also recommended doing an upper-GI scope to make sure I wasn’t having any additional stomach or esophagus problems. I told the surgeon I didn’t think I needed and upper-GI scope to which he replied, “Well, you’ll be knocked out anyways so it’s really no big deal.” Tired of arguing (and wasting my energy to argue with someone who doesn’t seem to be used to listening to patients anyway) I said fine.


I showed up Friday afternoon for same day surgery and everything went fine. Saturday morning when I actually was a little more cognizant of everything; what Chris told me made me so mad, I wanted to scream. While the surgeon was removing my gallbladder, he decided to go and have a look down near my ileum anyway. He noticed that I have a condition called, “Meckel's diverticulum” which is tissue left over from structures in the unborn baby's digestive tract that were not fully reabsorbed before birth. It’s a little finger like projection that I’ve had no problems with what so ever. He told Chris that he almost removed it and “sewed me back together” but decided against it.


Not only was he considering additional surgery on me, but he apparently didn’t even think it would be necessary to ask for consent from myself or Chris. His arrogance really, really made me mad. I’ve done a lot of research on intestinal re-sectioning since sometimes it happens with Crohn’s disease. The statistics are horrible. 80% of people who have one re-sectioning have a 3rd or 4th re-sectioning procedure. Thankfully, even with my bowel obstructions, my small intestine has opened back up. I pray I will never need this surgery, which is a BIG motivating factor for me to take care of myself and be as healthy as I can.


I’m happy to say I am feeling mostly normal again. I’m still a little sore from my 4 small incisions and can’t wait till my belly button isn’t the size of a small continent. But I am healing well and don’t need any pain medicine. After having my gallbladder removed, I felt much better and am no longer having any of my previous problems and even more significantly, I’m not having a Crohn’s flare which always occurs after any surgery I’ve had, which including all my c-sections are 7 surgeries in all.


So why am I sharing all this? I really want people to understand a couple of things. First of all, you have got to advocate for your health no matter what. You’ve got to get educated and really help yourself feel better. You need to trust your body and the way you feel about it, even if it means you’re going to argue with a doctor or surgeon. I’ve come across way too many medical doctors who really don’t listen and think they know EVRYTHING. I’ve been swore at, laughed at and ignored. When you don’t feel well, you shouldn’t have to deal with these types of attitudes. If you don’t like how you’re being treated, tell them. I really wish “patient listening and communication” classes were taught as part of medical school.


Secondly, I really hope people understand the importance of taking care of themselves. You have to be proactive now, and not wait until you have a medical health crisis. I limit my fat, sugar and meat intake and exercise regularly. I have to do these things because if I don’t I’m going to end up sick again and on such powerful drugs that do not give me much of a quality of life now or in the future. I’ve been down that route and it’s no way to live. Forget about putting things into my body that impairs it’s natural functions, (like alcohol and cigarettes) my body doesn’t work right naturally on its own any way. I can’t afford to not take care of myself and honestly, neither can any of us. I FIRMLY believe that the body has the ability to heal its’ self if we allow it to and take care it. If you have your health, you truly have so much!

Patterns

Wow, that’s how I feel after being in Northern California for 12 days. I am grateful we made the choice to go as a family and be with Chris’ mother Elsie. Our kids got the opportunity to see her and say goodbye which was so important and made the trip so worthwhile. I could write several posts just on her and my experiences with what I learned being near her and the family but I’m not ready to do that. Maybe the time will come for that; some of those things are intensely personal.

Today as I was able to get back into the routine of things, I struggled to do my normal Monday workout. I’m used to being able to go full throttle and yet this morning was a reality check for me. While in Etna, I was able to run only 3 times where I’m used to being active 6 days a week. I’m not complaining at all, I just find it interesting at how quickly my body can adjust to a more sedentary life style.

Gaining a couple pounds doesn’t bother me because those are easy to lose, but what bugged me was having my endurance level drop. I’ve got a month till my next triathlon so I’m interested to see how long it will take my body to adapt. One thing I was reminded of very clearly is the power and value of consistency. Onetime events don’t have to define us, but good patterns are the key to success.